Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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