how can u be prego again
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
