By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
