I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
