Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
