We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
