He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
