So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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