trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize