i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
