So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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