Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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