i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
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