She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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