no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
