he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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