Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
