what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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