she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize