i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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