Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
