I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
