guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need a beard to bite.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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