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Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Randomize
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