you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you