First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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