he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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