You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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