That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
