are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
