the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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