No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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