oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
