Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
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