I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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