Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
A+ Viking dick
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
