..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
