I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
