I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
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He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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