How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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