If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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