He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
