Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
