i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
