Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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