No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
