A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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