When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am naked and annoyed.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
