Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I party with great urgency now.
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