Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
