My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize