office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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