I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
