Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
