I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
