i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
