if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
