I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
