I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
