That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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