Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My first STD was from a foam party
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
