she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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