I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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