You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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