i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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